Crystal Clear

For first time in a long time, I feel such a clarity in my walk with God. When you are so overly involved with church & ministry (not that I'm saying that's a bad thing, just speaking about my experience) it is so easy to get cluttered and out of focus. For years, I've practically lived at church, between youth ministry, band practice, this service, that meeting... Just recently I've cut back - limited my commitments, I guess you could say. I had gotten so overwhelmed that not only was I miserable, but I had no idea who God really was... In a way I thought that if I did all this stuff, acted a certain way, it would please Him, and that was what I was supposed to do. Right? Wrong.

Finally, after cutting out and pruning and leaving and, well... simplifying, I can see so much better. I actually have a desire to be God's friend, to read the bible, talk to him... I've started reading some Christian books again, and I really feel a strong desire to get involved - not so much with a specific ministry or church, with too-high expectations, but to be involved with what God is doing. What he really wants from us is actually so simple and easy - to let Him love us and take care of us, and for us to trust that He'll do just that. Then in turn, we are to show others that kind of love.

My prayer is that more will find this simplicity, this love... We make things so confusing sometimes, especially by trying to be a "good" christian. I know for so long I felt like if I did it right, if I did everything like the bible said, lived up to everyone's expectations, then He would love me more and I would be A+ in His book. I felt that is what He expected of me. And time and time I'd fail, and feel even more confused and miserable. But when I got away from all that "stuff", I finally saw that God doesn't have that expectation of us at all. He just wants our love. And He loves us all the same, sinner and saint alike, no matter what we do, what we've done, or how awesome or horrible we or anyone else thinks we are. And that, my friend is refreshing...

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:29-30